Day 19 - Experience and Hot Looks

This is a dark day in Irish politics. And this is a dark day in Irish financial history. As the famous Irish four-year plan is unveiled, the mood is subdued. We have to take it in, try and digest what it will mean for us. And the budget hasn't even hit us yet.
I am worried. I am tired. I am tired of being worried. And I feel old and weary. Now more than ever, the job market will be flooded with willing and able young ones, begging, pleading for a job. How I am going to compete against all that fresh blood, modern, hip and probably a whole pile more qualified than little old moi?

But halt! Before I slide into the oblivion of sadness, I know what I can do to cheer myself up. And everyone else who is reading this blog.

It is not "old" I should be calling myself. It is experienced. World savvy. Wise. One of those who knows that sage is not just a herb.

So, here it is, then: 10 ways you know you are ... brimming with experience! Cos we all know that when you're going for a job, it's experience that counts above all else!

1. The wind is blowing across the school yard. A funky young Mum is breezing towards you in a short skirt that would also qualify as a scarf. You don't think: "What a hip and yummy Mummy, her little one must be all brains and all beauty. You smile wryly to yourself and think: "Jaysus, she must be blue with the cold."

2. You look at the receptionist at the dentist and think: "I'm sure I babysat her mother."

3. Your idea of a great night out is a great night in.

4. You spend hours watching TV in the evening and find it hard to remember what you watched at the end of the night.

5. In fact, you find it hard to remember anything much these days and smile a lot, blissful in your ignorance.

6. You think 69 is a nice, friendly, symmetrical number and with a K at the end, would make a very decent annual salary.

7. You go on holidays and rather than frying in the sun and increasing your cancer cell count, you tidy and wash incessantly, and make a plan about how you will straighten out the house which was left in a state when you departed. Because good planning is half the battle.

8. You think that Twitter is a misspelt maniacal giggle.

9. Your first thought each day is how many layers you need to put on to stay warm, buy a pasta measure so you don't spend €1000 annually on food you just throw out, and invest €69.95 in a new sewing machine, even though you can't sew, and vow to make all the children's Halloween costumes from now on.

10. The next day in the school yard, you bring ski pants, a box of lemsip and some warm socks for the young one who wore the scarf the day before and advise her of the benefits of hot drinks over hot looks...